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MelindaB

Reading Maketh a Full Man...

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Currently reading

The Discarded Image: An Introduction to Medieval and Renaissance Literature (Canto)
C.S. Lewis
Boys and Girls Learn Differently!: A Guide for Teachers and Parents
Michael Gurian, Terry Trueman, Patricia Henley
Ambition and Survival: Becoming a Poet
Christian Wiman
Deep River: The Life and Music of Robert Shaw
Keith C. Burris
Daring, Trusting Spirit
John De Gruchy
The Vatican Diaries: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at the Power, Personalities, and Politics at the Heart of the Catholic Church
John Thavis
The Whisperers: Private Life in Stalin's Russia
Orlando Figes

The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family

The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family - Karyn B. Purvis This book was written by Karyn Purvis, who is the Director of the Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University (TCU) . She specializes in helping families who have adopted or are fostering at-risk children from troubled backgrounds or from other countries and cultures. Many of these adopted children endured great trauma in their early infancy and childhood, and when adopted do not know how to relate to the usual nurturing that families provide to their children. Many of these children lived in such stressful and dangerous situations that their bodies live in a complete "fight or flight" mode. Because they are literally living in terror, they cannot hear what you say (much as you cannot carry on a conversation when you are afraid), and they also cannot become secure enough to allow their adopted parents to become physically or emotionally close. This book is a wonderful guide in learning how to take care of such a child. A child cannot be considered "connected" unless they have a solid self-esteem and know they are loved and considered precious. They cannot feel valued and loved if they cannot communicate with others using appropriate words and actions. They cannot communicate well unless they understand the balance of affection, guidance, and correction. And they cannot be balanced unless they feel truly safe and protected. And lastly a child cannot feel safe unless their basic survival needs have been met (food, sensory, shelter). So families must begin at the bottom of this pyramid, with physical needs, and climb the ladder with each step until they get to the connected child at the top. I found the therapy principles in this book to be worthwhile even if you do not have an at-risk child. It never hurts to learn how to speak gently, use loving touch, and reinforce positive behavior and avoid abuse of any kind (verbal, physical). I would recommend this book even to biological families, because the principles behind the therapy are true for every child, not just adopted children and not just at-risk children.You can see lectures of Dr. Pervis at http://empoweredtoconnect.org/?contributors=dr-karyn-purvis .